Learning to meditate is one of those practices that we all know is good for us… like regular exercise and eating healthy. And like all virtuous endeavors, committing to a regular practice of meditation can be a challenge. Why is this? Well, perhaps you are practicing the wrong style of meditation!
If you have tried to meditate, and have found it impossible to quiet your mind, to stop the constant thoughts and inner chatter, and…if you are a woman, it may not be your fault. Quite simply (and this will be no surprise), women’s brains and men’s brains are wired differently!
Yet, we are often taught one type of meditation…single-pointed meditation. We are taught to sit quietly and focus on something like a candle flame, our breath or a sound. We are encouraged to quiet our minds, to be disciplined, to practice diligently until we are successful in becoming still.
Another approach to meditation is to simply ‘observe our thoughts’ and let them pass without being drawn into them. Well, I don’t know about you…but observing my thoughts is like watching eight different channels at the same time! I tried for years to meditate in this way with very little success.
I felt I was a failure and that I might even have some sort of attention deficit disorder. But I had a sudden awareness when I saw this video on Youtube a few years ago. It is hilarious…but so very true! And it occurred to me that I had been trying to meditate in the way that was best suited for men!
Men’s brains are wired to sit for hours in silence…waiting for prey to come close enough for them to spear or attack. We must realize that our modern and easy accessibility to food has only occurred over the last few thousand years. Considering humans (Homo habilis) have been on the planet for about two million years, this is a relatively recent comfort.
Women’s brains, on the other hand, are wired to multitask…we are famous for this! Survival depended on the women keeping the fire going, preparing the food, finding water, minding the children, making clothes and shelter…women did all the other work, while the men sat in silence!
Both roles were essential for the survival of their species, and one was not better or more important than the other. In modern times, however, these differences have been at the root of many disagreements and misunderstandings between men and women.
And, when it comes to meditation, women, for the most part, can not sit in silence. Men, on the other hand, are masters at it! Do you ever hear stories of female sages meditating in a cave for seven years? Of course not! Put a woman in a cave for that long and she will decorate it, paint all the walls and organize the rocks into neat and practical piles. She will build a fire, weave some comfortable mats and probably even do dot painting on some rocks as well!
While there will always be exceptions on both sides, single-pointed meditation is simply not suited for women. Women benefit from a variety of ‘active’ meditation styles and are often practicing some of these without even knowing it.
Nursing or bathing a baby can evoke a meditative state. Cooking, cleaning or other repetitive tasks can also cause women to ‘zone out’. But, unfortunately, these moments are often missed. This is where ‘moment to moment awareness’ or ‘presence’ can be incredibly beneficial.
Creative projects, walking in nature and journal writing are all practices that can relax a busy mind. Especially if these activities are done with the intention of relaxing the body and mind. Walking in a maze or labyrinth is a wonderful form of active meditation.
The other form of meditation that can be very beneficial for women is a guided meditation. This keeps the mind engaged by following instructions which automatically turns off all the chatter. It is a type of meditation that focuses on relaxation, and this is a much more supportive style of meditation for women.
I have created a wonderful guided meditation for you! I guide you through a grounding body scan (including the chakras) for 25 minutes and then leave you with another 5 minutes of meditation music to listen to if desired. It is best listened to with headphones.
While women definitely benefit from guided meditations, men will also benefit from them as well. This guided meditation is suited for everyone! Enjoy!