I have come to a very difficult decision, and it’s time to say goodbye. I have decided to stop creating YouTube tutorials and accompanying blog posts. The reason is simple…I am burned out and my cognitive health has become compromised. I have written about a condition I have called Central Sensitivity Disorder (or syndrome) on my blog, and this condition is making it difficult for me to produce content. When I began my journey of sharing videos and blog posts on the three topics of Create, Nurture, and Heal three years ago, I was hoping to create work in which I could support myself within the limitations of my health challenges. My original vision was to weave together these three areas as I felt there was a common thread between all of them.
For me, creativity has been therapeutic in so many ways, and as someone who has struggled with a chronic health condition, this has been an important practice for me. I am also passionate about healing topics as I have explored so many various healing modalities over the years. But what I didn’t realize when I began this journey, was how hard creating content would be for me, especially for my cognitive health.
Central Sensitivity Disorder is basically an issue of dysregulation in the brain causing the body to have a hyperactive response to any type of sensation. This could be pain, light, sound, smell, chemicals, and so forth. Even positive sensations such as excitement, massage therapy, or acupuncture can cause a hyperactive response. It is a dysfunction in the brain and seems to be triggered by some sort of trauma such as an accident, surgery, a virus, or a difficult loss of some sort. It doesn’t matter whether this is physical or emotional trauma.
I’ve had this condition for many years, although I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia (FMS) and chronic fatigue (CFS) and then ended up with irritable larynx syndrome, post-concussion disorder, and an assortment of annoying ailments. It’s an invisible illness, and other than looking a bit tired, there is no way of seeing how difficult it is. For that, I am actually grateful because I don’t want any sympathy or attention. It is what it is, and I accept that, although I do what a can to take good care of myself.
In spite of all the healing and self-care modalities I have tried and continue to use, this condition has gotten worse over the last few years. Sadly, I’ve realized that a big contributor to this decline is the amount of time I spend on the computer creating all this content!
If you are not a content creator, you probably have no idea how many hours of work go into producing both a video tutorial and an accompanying blog post. Depending on the project, I spend between thirty and fifty hours in front of the computer filming, editing, doing voiceovers (because I make so many mistakes while narrating instructions), uploading to YouTube, photoshopping, writing content, doing SEO (search engine optimization), creating a newsletter, utilizing social media, and a myriad of other tasks that go unseen.
As time has gone on, my typing skills have become terrible, my brain is exhausted, my speech is impaired at times, and I have a lot of confusion and memory issues. I get migraines on a regular basis and I’m simply exhausted. My husband has been pointing out for some time that I spend too much time on the computer, and as my cognition has declined, I’ve had to spend even more time on the computer because I make so many mistakes and have to concentrate so hard while doing this work.
To see if working so much on the computer was causing these problems, I went on a computer diet and limited my time on the computer to one hour a day and no evenings. After about a week, my cognitive health started to improve and I felt so much better. My sleep also improved as did my general sense of wellness.
So, sadly, I’ve made the decision that it’s time to say goodbye to creating tutorials on Youtube and writing the accompanying blog posts. But the good news is that I will keep all this content available both here and on Youtube. I have over 140 video tutorials on Youtube and over 120 blog posts here on my website. There is a lot of creative inspiration here and I’ve tried to organize it all to make projects easy to find. I will still reply to any comments or questions on Youtube.
Here on the blog, the menu bar shows all the different categories and offerings I have. Crochet has sub-categories of ‘Scarves’, ‘Hats and Warmers’, ‘Granny Squares’, and so forth to make it easier to find what you are looking for. Create and Nurture also has a few sub-categories. On Youtube, I have various playlists on my main channel page which will also help you find your way around.
All of the content here on my blog and on Youtube is free and it is through the advertisements in both places that I make a small income. I will continue to add downloadable PDF patterns to my Ravelry Store which will be available for a small fee. I am very grateful for all your support and kind comments! I may pop in from time to time with an update or some news (probably just on Youtube), and I will continue to send out a newsletter every few months with some highlighted posts. I do have one or two guided meditations I want to create, and in time I will be adding those to YouTube. So, for now, I say a warm and heartfelt goodbye.